Forgiveness in Babylon
by Baliansword
Summary: A sequel to ‘Revelations in Babylon’. How Alexander goes about trying to make up his wrongs to Hephaestion. Thanks to Elithraniel for the idea. Yes, there is sexual content. Let's all be adults here. AH is no surprise.


**Title**: "Forgiveness in Babylon"

**Author**: Baliansword

**Rating**: T for Teen

**Type**: One Shot

**Pairings**: Alexander/Hephaestion

**Summary: **A sequel to 'Revelations in Babylon'. How Alexander goes about trying to make up his wrongs to Hephaestion. Thanks to Elithraniel for the idea.

**Warnings**: Some sexual content, brought on with a little twist of violence.

**A/N**: Thanks to all that have read 'Revelations in Babylon'. If you have not, you might need to do so to understand this story. Also, a big thanks for the reviews, especially from Elithraniel.

**Dedication**: For Elithraniel, who gave me the idea to make a sequel. I hope you enjoy what I've done with this piece.

**H/N:** This story takes place after Alexander and his men have been in Babylon for about two months. It also takes place after 'Revelations in Babylon'.

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"I'm sorry," Alexander mouthed, for in truth, he remembered every word that Hephaestion had said the night before. He knew that this apology was not enough to change things. He could see it now, the pain he'd placed in Hephaestion's depths. This apology could never be enough. However, it was a good enough start.

Hephaestion had not seemed to care for the apology though. Almost as soon as he had said anything, even looked at him, Hephaestion had left the room. Alexander watched him go, feeling his own heart heavy in his chest. He knew, somewhere deep inside, that he did not deserve Hephaestion. Never had he said it to himself. Never had he spoken such words to Hephaestion. Yet at times he knew that he pained him more than loved him. Babylon was no exception to this.

Alexander stood after a moment and left the room. No one seemed to care that he had. For all knew where he was going. Even those that did not look up knew. It was not unusual for Alexander to end up chasing Hephaestion out of a room. They tried to be subtle, but to those that knew them best, there was nothing hidden about their relationship. All knew when they loved one another. All knew when they hated one another. Cassander glanced up though, even when others feared to, and watched Alexander leave the room. He merely shook his head and sent his best wished with the king. For Cassander had seen Hephaestion wan away to the state he was in now, the one in which he did not care if he lived or died, loved or hated. It was a terrible place to be in, and Alexander had helped drive him there, so it would be fitting that Alexander pull him back from that mind set. However, Cassander also knew how perfectly unhealthy that could be. He watched Alexander go, and then went back to observing others.

Alexander continued down the hall though, determined to find Hephaestion. There were things that needed to be said that he'd never spoken. It was not only because he did not know how, but because he had not cared enough to try and find a way. He continued down the hall, nodding at the servants that passed him, until he came to Hephaestion's room. He knocked on the door, knowing it was not the time to take advantage of his position as king, or even as lover and best friend. He knocked once more, yet again there was no answer. He could not decide if Hephaestion was not there, or if he was and just did not wish to see him.

"Hephaestion," he said as he placed a hand on the door, and then entered. He let the door shut behind him and took a few steps further into the room. The drapes had been pulled shut, so it still looked as if it could have been night. Alexander crossed the room and pulled the drapes open, if only to see better. Hephaestion was not in the room though and Alexander wished he knew where he was. He stood on the balcony for a moment, rubbing his forehead, and he then thought of where he would be.

It did not take Alexander long to leave the palace. He did so without telling anyone, and he knew that no one would look for him, not at least in the direction he was going. Whereas most of the men spent their free time in the harem, Hephaestion spent his in the gardens of Babylon. Alexander could see why though, for the gardens were by far the most beautiful thing in Babylon. Darius had been wise to continue to add to them. What once had likely looked like nothing now looked like a grand forest of sorts, where even wild animals hid. Alexander continued down a well used dirt path before he abruptly veered to the left. There were not many that were allowed to leave such paths, yet he could, for he was king. Hephaestion on the other hand, he had been told that he could, for the Persians had thought him the most beautiful of the Macedonians. Many even thought him to be king, had they not seen or heard Alexander described to them.

Alexander continued down a path that few knew. He passed lavished flowers and even colorful birds. He stepped over fallen logs that had been long lost to others. Yet, he eventually came to a clearing where there was no debris in his path. Instead, there was nothing more that a freshwater pond, supplied by a small rock waterfall. The water was crystal clear, a soft blue, with white bubbling surfaces by the falls. Alexander stepped closer before he found a flat surfaced rock and sat down upon it. He then just watched as Hephaestion swam. It was relaxing, merely watching him do so. This was where Hephaestion found his shelter, and at one time, he had found it in Alexander as well.

Alexander said nothing and merely watched Hephaestion. Hephaestion came up for air, his back turned to Alexander, and ran a hand through his wet hair. Alexander continued to stare at him though, at the way that water beads rolled over his shoulders and down his back. There was a single scar upon his back, one that Alexander had in a way put there himself. He remembered Hephaestion shoving him to the side at the battle of Issus so that he would receive the wound to his back, instead of Alexander receiving it to his front. So in a way he had put it there, by putting Hephaestion in danger, and even now he wondered if he never should have. He loved him, yes, but had been selfish to never ask Hephaestion what he wanted to do. Even when Hephaestion whispered that he never had to ask, that his life was with him, he should have looked deeper into his eyes. He continued to stare at him before Hephaestion seemed to notice that eyes were upon him. Hephaestion glanced over his shoulder, yet said nothing.

"Phae," Alexander said softly, yet Hephaestion merely looked away. For the first time, Alexander knew that he had not answered to Phae in weeks. He had not answered to if, for he had not said it. Alexander stood and untied his robe and let it fall to the ground. He then slowly entered the water, hoping that Hephaestion did not leave. Hephaestion merely turned, keeping his eyes down, and stepped away from him. Alexander stopped his approach.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. It was almost as if he had never said it. The falling water from the falls almost silenced his plea. Hephaestion heard him though. Even Hephaestion knew this by the way that he blinked. Yet there was still so much pain on his delicate features. Alexander swam slightly closer and again Hephaestion moved back. He had only a little ways to go before his back hit against the slope of the pond. For the first time, Alexander understood why he moved away. It was not only that he was disgusted by what he had done, by his betrayal, but it was also that he feared him. He thought back to the night before, and he knew immediately why.

"I'm not going to hurt you," he then said.

"You already have," was Hephaestion's reply. His voice was soft, careless even as if there was no life left in him. Alexander heard this, and he wanted to wrap his arms around him. He wanted to tell him that it would be well again soon. Hephaestion still did not look at him though. Nor, Alexander feared, would he ever have the need to again.

Alexander reached out then and placed his hand upon Hephaestion's shoulder. Hephaestion jerked his shoulder back and tried to again move away from Alexander. There was nowhere else to go though when his back pressed against the grassy edge of the pond. Alexander then reached up once more to place a hand against his arm. Hephaestion jerked his arm back, his elbow colliding with hard compact soil, but he did not seem to mind.

"Don't touch me," Hephaestion ordered, even though his voice cracked. Alexander reached for him once more and this time Hephaestion shoved his arm away. He then jerked back. Alexander looked at him, and his eyes asked why. "Don't touch me, I'm not him."

"Phae…"

"No," he insisted as he jerked away from him once more. Alexander reached out again though, and this time he managed to wrap his hand around Hephaestion's left wrist. Hephaestion fought with him for a moment, then with his right hand tried to push Alexander away from him. Alexander wrapped an arm around him though and pulled him to him. Hephaestion continued to flail and struggle in his grasp, until he even threw a few punches at him. Alexander did not budge though, and Hephaestion soon grew weak, and let his body loosen in Alexander's hold. His back was pressed firmly against the embankment though, and he tried to keep his body away from Alexander's as much as he could.

"Let me go," he said as he jerked once more. Alexander did not though. Instead he took his free hand and placed it against Hephaestion's cheek. Hephaestion jerked his head to the side, and Alexander's hand followed him. He turned Hephaestion's head back to him, so that he could meet his eyes, and then he spoke.

"I do not love him," he assured Hephaestion. He moved closer to Hephaestion then, who pushed himself back as far as he could. Alexander continued to close the space between them until there was none. Their bodies were pressed together so tightly it seemed that even the water was not there. Hephaestion trembled beneath him as he touched him.

"I do not love him," Alexander said again. "I love you, Hephaestion, and only you. You are the only thing in this world that I love. Look at me Hephaestion…please."

"I can't," Hephaestion said. Still he did not look at Alexander. It took him a moment before a tear slid down his cheek, the same cheek that Alexander had hit the night before, and only then did he have the courage to look up at Alexander. "I can't look at you knowing that you looked at him like this too."

"I never look at anyone the way I look at you," he said as slowly his hand released Hephaestion's wrist. Hephaestion jerked his hand away quickly, pressing it behind him on the embankment as if he were going to try to flee away. He had not moved though, not yet. Alexander was too close to him, he had to stay there, if only for a moment. He hated him for what he had done, understood, yet still could not comprehend it all the way. Yet he had not been this close to Alexander in such a long time.

Alexander suddenly caught his lips with his own. Hephaestion pulled back for a moment, but there was nowhere to go. His head was against lush grass, his body pinned by Alexander's. He placed his hands against Alexander's chest and tried to shove him for a moment, however, his hands seemed to fail him. Alexander placed his lips against Hephaestion's once more, and as the kiss ended, whispered softly into his ear.

"There is only you," he whispered. His lips lightly brushed against Hephaestion's neck, and Hephaestion slowly moved his head away from him. He didn't want to be there just because Alexander had nothing better to do. He did not want to touch him, knowing that Bagoas had touched him. He'd forgiven all others, but Bagoas was something foreign to him, a beauty from another land that he could not compete with. Hephaestion jerked back once more as Alexander's hand cupped between his legs, his palm soft and tempting against his manhood.

"Don't," Hephaestion pleaded softly. It wasn't that he did not love him. It wasn't that he did not wish to be touched by him in such a way. He just wished that it could have been before this, before he knew there were others. For a moment he wished that he'd never learned of Alexander's affairs with Bagoas. Deep in his heart, he knew something though. He knew that what Alexander spoke was true, that he did love him above all others, and that such would never change. His heart could not understand what his mind did though.

Alexander did not move his hand though. Instead he began to lightly massage Hephaestion as his lips trailed warm kisses against his neck. Hephaestion felt his body loosen once more in Alexander's grip. He had his hands on the embankment though, and began to pull himself up. Alexander did not seem to mind though. Hephaestion merely revealed more skin to Alexander as his lips connected with Hephaestion's chest muscles. Each muscle he kissed rippled beneath his lips and tongue. Hephaestion was weak, and he could not imagine why, as he tried to continue to pull himself up the embankment. Alexander wrapped an arm under Hephaestion, near the small of his back, and held him from going further.

"Alexander," Hephaestion pleaded once more. He felt Alexander's hand against him and knew that he was aroused from his touch, even though he was desperately trying not to be. Alexander did not seem to take his plea as a plea to stop though. Instead he began to kiss Hephaestion's pelvis, and his lips then trailed down to his thighs, which were still half in the water. In truth, Hephaestion did not want him to stop. He wanted his mind to stop, he wanted the memory to go away, and as Alexander touched him it did seem to slip away. After a moment Alexander's lips were at the base of his arousal, and then over his arousal. Hephaestion let out an excited breath of air and fell back against the embankment. He could not stop himself from doing so. It was just too right, the way that Alexander touched him.

Hephaestion's back arched slightly as he felt Alexander's tongue lapping at him. Alexander placed his other hand upon Hephaestion's chest and lightly ran his fingers over him, sending electric shocks through Hephaestion, who was after a moment bucking his hips slightly. Alexander continued though, even as Hephaestion uttered his name once more. Moments of this passed before Hephaestion's body jerked involuntarily. He then fell limply back against the embankment. His breath was heavy, as was Alexander's, who still kissed his abdomen. Alexander then pulled Hephaestion to him and back into the water. He wrapped his arms around him and began kissing him once more.

"Only you," Alexander then whispered. His kisses deepened and Hephaestion finally warmed to him. He wrapped his legs around Alexander, his arms around him as well, and kissed him deeply back. It was a good enough explanation, Hephaestion decided as he continued to kiss Alexander until he knew his lips were swollen. Alexander's hands roamed over him, touching him as if he were trying to remember each touch. Hephaestion only prayed that he was. He prayed that he would never again forget him.

"There is only you," Alexander told Hephaestion once more. He then looked into his eyes, looked into his eyes as perhaps he had never done before. He knew that he could not lose Hephaestion. Alexander then placed a hand against Hephaestion's cheek, his thumb lightly trailing over Hephaestion's swollen lower lip. "You are everything to me Hephaestion, and you always have been. I am a fool at times, I know this. Yet I love you. I do not deserve you Hephaestion, I know this, because I do things that would bring you pain. I mean not to Phae, my beloved. You're the only one who loves me, the only one who really cares. Know that I love you, for I do, please Hephaestion. Please help me learn how to please you."

"Shh," whispered Hephaestion as he placed his lips against Alexander's. "I care, and I understand you, because I love you. I just want you to love me Alexander."

"I do, Hephaestion. I love only you. He was a mistake. It is you that I love, no other. Never," he assured him as he pressed his forehead to Hephaestion's. "Never could there be room in my heart for another but you."

"That is all I need to know," was Hephaestion's reply.

ENFIN

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A/N: So, what do you think? Let me know.


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